DongGuan Hash House Harriers
Late in 2014, Liam Donnelly (Snorter) arrived in DongGuan after a long history of Hashing in Porto and India. Liam found kindred spirits in some other experienced Hashers and organized the first run of the DGH3 at 3:30 PM on Sunday, December 7, 2014, a day which just might live in infamy…
Joining Liam on the first run were experienced Hashers Chuck “Beaubuck” Gilreath, who shortly afterward became Religious Advisor, Martin “Maid in China” Byrnes and Rodney Hammond. Newcomers to Hashing included John Reed (shortly to be named YoYo Yong), and Shirley Yee. The run began from the One For The Road English Pub and the runners followed a marked trail through nearby Qifeng Park.
Due to the interruption of holidays, the second run was scheduled in late January and the third in February. Runs then continued on about three week intervals until July, 2015, when a two month break was declared because the summer is just too bloody hot in DongGuan.
The Early Days
On these early runs, the Pack ranged from a high of nineteen runners to a low of three, with that run featuring two hares and resulting in a challenging set of checks for Beaubuck, the lone pack member that day.
Early on, the DGHS began the tradition of naming hashers on or after their fifth run, with Yo Yo Yong becoming the first DGH3 named Hasher in the spring of 2015.
The first costumed hash was held on Nov 1, 2015 to celebrate Halloween and left gawking onlookers along the way as hashers wound through DongCheng in a variety of festive attire.
The first annual Jingle Bells Hash, or Santa Hash as it is also called, was held on Dec 6, 2015, the first anniversary of the DGH3, with the hashers decked out as Santas, Elves and reindeer. This Hash began the tradition of carrying gold foil wrapped chocolate coins on the run to distribute to baffled children along the way, blending the Christmas spirit of gift giving and the western tradition of a commercial, cash based holiday.
A contingent of the DGH3 attended the All China Nash Hash in Guangzhou on the weekend of April 3, 2016. Two notable events occurred that weekend, in addition to a lot of drinking, ass baring, ice sitting and general tomfoolery. First, Snorter and Beaubuck signed the DGH3 up to host the Nash Hash in 2019, knowing full well at the time that the DGH3 was an infant and that they might both be long gone by then, but pressing ahead with verve and fortitude and securing the honor.
Second, Beaubuck, chafing at the idea that these large gatherings were awarded so far in advance, proposed the idea of a Pearl River Delta Hash to Three Inches of Pain, the Guangzhou GM, who was dozing on a table at the time, but arose with enthusiasm at the idea. They determined to include Shekou, also located along the Pearl River, but not those smug wankers from HK.
Pearl River Delta Hash - The first PRD followed in May, 2016 with Snorter and a small contingent attending the first PRD, hosted by Guangzhou. PRD Hashes began taking more proper shape and fanfare with a patch awarded in 2017 with a summer run in Dongguan gathering nearly 100 Hashers. Not to be outdone, Guangzhou hosted again, this time renting out a hotel at the Hot Springs in Huizhou in the winter of 2018. It was on this rigorous and mountainous trail which Tripel Secs tore the ligaments in her knee and hobbled the 7 miles back out of the woods. Shekou will be taking their first turn to host in May of 2019
On Dec 11, 2016, Snorter passed the Grand Master torch to Beaubuck and Michael “Dr. Feelassophy” Trembley succeeded Beaubuck as Religious Advisor. When the RA decamped to Vietnam later that spring, Rob “Snake Sucker” Covert was named RA.
On July 22, 2017, the Hash was moved from Sundays to 3:30 PM Saturdays in an effort to attract a larger Pack and avoid Monday morning hangovers. The move was a success, as average runners per Hash rose from 9.5 YTD to 14.1 for the balance of the year. This also brought a new contingent of international teachers into the fold.
On June 2, 2018, GM Beaubuck and wife and original Hasher, Triple Secs, celebrated their “graduation” from the working life to a life on relaxation on the beach in their hometown in North Carolina. Their Piss Off Hash was celebrated by Hashers from our neighboring kennels totaling near 50 runners. Ball Smacka Licker Hared her Virgin Hare with RA Snake Sucker who properly misguided her, setting a shitty and short trail through QiFeng Park. Legend has it, there are still lost Hounds seeking the trail to this day. It was also on this day that the role of GM was trasferred, perhaps for the first time in Hashing History, to Cunning Linguist, who was out of the country at the time. Husband Snake Sucker paid the price of her absence for such an important ceremony with bare ass on ice.
The first DGH3 Pursuit Hash was hared by Stuart “Lunchbox” Cranfield on Jan 15, 2017, with Lunchbox leaving the Pack in the dust, at least partially due to his conservative use of marks.
Snake Sucker hared a Mobike Hash on April 16, 2017, dropping Wechat pins as the Pack followed on rental bikes, fumbling their cellphones and dodging traffic.
The first Devil in a Blue Dress Hash was held on October 14, 2017, with Adrian “Hello Titty” Kivnik and Megan “Cunning Linguist” Covert decked out in title roles.
The first Midnight Ramble evening hash was hared by Beaubuck on Friday evening, March 16, 2018 and was enjoyed by all, though the glow-in-the-dark chalk required torches to see.
The first relay Hare Hash was run on January 19, 2019 in attempts to recruit more Hares and dispell the myth of it being challenging. 3 different pairs of a seasoned and virgin Hare were given 8 minute head starts to plot the path to the next beer stop, with the threat of drinking out of their shoe if caught.
Hares are identified a week or more prior to a Hash and are expected to plan the course and then mark it in advance in chalk, flour or strings to be removed by the pack.
Prior to the Run, Hash Cash should collect and record Hash Fees, if he/she actually remembers to do this.
Just before the run, the hares conduct a briefing to explain the marks and then they kick off the run.
Runners are expected to follow the marks, calling our “On On!” when they are on trail and “Checking!” when checking.
Hares stay near the back of the pack, assuring stragglers stay in contact and making audible calls on direction when the pack is just too blind to find the next mark. (silly wankers…)
After the run, the pack convenes in a Circle.
After each run, the DGH3 celebrates in a stand-up circle, typically in the parking lot next to The Road or in other spaces in the case of hashes terminating in far flung locations.
The Beer Meister is responsible to assure that sufficient glasses and beer is available in the Circle and that down-down beers are handed to those who need them during the proceedings.
The Grand Master opens with any pressing announcements and then the RA recognizes any virgins in the Pack, asking each to announce his or her name, details on their background and answering “who made you cum today?” After a song for the virgins and their down-downs, the RA moderates accusations and imposes down-downs as warranted.
Accusations may be made by any hasher who steps into the circle, beer over his or her head to gains the attention of the crowd. Told to proceed by the RA, the hasher makes an accusation, the more flowery in language the better. The RA then imposes punishment in the form of a song by the pack and a down-down by the accused.
After this frivolity, the GM manages any namings. This ritual involves bringing the yet-to-be-named hasher into the circle, placing the naming cap on their head and asking them to reveal interesting facts about themselves. The GM asks questions, makes notes and works to turn significant phrases or ideas into names for consideration. Hashers also verbally, and loudly, contribute their ideas for names based on what they’ve heard. The GM records the best of these, notes his own ideas and then reads possible names back to the circle and manages a series of show-of-hands votes to narrow the choices down. The name chosen should be humorous, risqué, scatological, appropriate and something which will elicit a groan from the namee.
It must be pointed out that the Hash is not a democracy, but a benevolent dictatorship. As such, the GM is not really bound to listen to the majority, especially if the names suggested from the mob and/or subsequently voted on are too crude, off the mark or just fucking lame.
Once a name is settled on, the naming hat is then removed by the GM, who intones something like the following “and now, by the power vested in me as Grand Master of the DongGuan Hash … As you travel the world and the trails of hashing, you will henceforth and forevermore be known as <the name>”. The GM pours a swallow of beer on the head of the named, the GM leads the pack in singing a down-down song (typically, Why Was he/she born so Beautiful?) and the newly named hasher drains one of the Holy Vessels filled to an appropriate level with beer or an alternative beverage for a non-drinker.
Songs may be sung at any point during the Circle, at the discretion of the songmeister, RA or GM or simply because one just needs to be sung.
The GM closes the circle with any necessary announcements and the entire Hash then joins in a chorus of the Hash Hymn, Swing Low.
Unlike some not-to-be-named wanker Hashes, the DGH3 typically uses a full glass of beer for down-downs. Hashers are given a break on quantity if warranted. Non-drinkers are allowed to use a substitute beverage.
Down-downs for namings use one of the Holy Vessels, which are not rinsed or cleaned afterwards, the better to acquire the patina of use.
The DGH3 does not typically use an ice block during namings or other ceremonies, this not having been a part of true, traditional hashing way back in the beginning.
DGH3 runs target 6 km to 8 km, though Rambo/Wanker splits and frequent, devilish on-backs should result in FRB’s covering an additional km or so, yielding a truly satisfying run for all. Our goal is for all hashers to finish within an hour, not counting beer stops, and within a few minutes of each other.
Hashers are encourage to wear at least one article of hash garb on each run and punishments may be inflicted by the RA for failure to do this.
The DGH3 logo features a dragon holding a beer and, sometimes, a pearl as dragons are sometimes known to do.
Our Patron Saint is Commissioner Li, who burned British opium in DongGuan to start the Opium Wars. The original hasher.
Our Kung Fu coats serve to keep us warm around the circle in the winter and as a place to sew Hash patches. They are not kimonos because kimonos are Japanese and DongGuan is in China, obviously.
The DongGuan Hash House Harriers is a fifth generation Hash with a distinguished pedigree:
DongGuan DGH3 Dongcheng, PRC
Founded on Dec 7, 2014 by Liam "Snorter" Donnelly ex-Porto. Joining Liam on the first run were experienced Hashers Chuck “Beaubuck” Gilreath, Martin “Maid in China” Byrnes and Rodney Hammond. Virgin Hashers were John Reed and Shirley Yee
Mother Hash Porto Hash Porto, Portugal
Founded in 1994 by Nick Felsing and Ross Moodie, two experienced hashers who, in the employment of Coates & Clark (of Vila Nova de Gaia), had hashed with hashing groups in the far east. Nick lived in Manila in the Philippines from Jan 89 to Jan 91 and ran with Manila Hash in Metro Makati.
Grandmother Hash Manila HHH Manila, Philippines
Founded Dec 31, 1973 by James “Ratcatcher” Howard, ex-Jakarta. Men only. Monday 6pm sharp.
Great Grandmother Jakarta Hash Jakarta, Indonesia
Founded in 1971 by Jeremy "The Burong" Pidgeon, ex-KL
GG Grandmother KL Hash Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Founded in 1938 by Albert Stephen (A.S.) Ignatius "G" Gispert
Grand Master – elected, more or less, to an indeterminate term. Runs the Hash, makes the calls, does the namings, coordinates with other Hashes.
Religious Advisor – elected, more or less, to an indeterminate term. Monitors infractions during the runs and imposes punishments, manages the Circle. Might also arrange IT support in this new and modern age.
Beer Meister – appointed, more or less. Assures beer is available for the Circle.
Hash Cash – appointed, more or less, collects Hash Fees, buys beer at beer stops, provides cash as needed for other expenditures. Keeps the books.
Song Meister – appointed, more or less. Leads the pack in songs whenever appropriate.
Hash Haberdasherer – If we can get a volunteer, arranges Hash Garb.